how my client avoided being drained by family obligations

A few months ago, my client was feeling nervous about visiting her mom.

For story’s sake, let’s call my client, Sarah.

Before I dive into this very important story Sarah, please go ahead and reserve your spot at the next open house on Tuesday, November 16th at 4pm PT (more details in the PS below).

Ok, back to our regularly scheduled story about Sarah...

Sarah’s mom would always stress her the eff out from the moment she arrived at baggage claim.

On the drive home, her mom always asked incessant questions and immediately began a parade of complaining and blaming about anyone and everyone (including a lot of people my client didn’t even know!)

When this topic came up, Sarah was planning to travel for the first time during the pandemic.

We determined that she needed to create some sort of buffer from her mom.

Before taking any action, we brainstormed a few options that weren’t landing.

I suggested to my client that she tell her mom that she was arriving two days later than she actually was.

This blew my client’s mind because it felt so easy and also kind of felt like lying.

At first she felt really guilty (very common!).

She made up excuses about how her mom would find out or what it meant about her.

And then she realized (ah-ha!) it would give her the perfect opening to feel in control, take care of herself (and her dog), and set a boundary that kept her feeling safe and nurtured.

In the end, Sarah ended up trying it out.

Her mom never found out and Sarah was able to enjoy the visit without being bombarded with unwanted conversation immediately after landing.

She took a couple days to get settled and enjoyed the time she spent with her mom.

I wanted to share this story because I’m guessing there might be a lot of obligations and shoulds that come up during the upcoming holiday season for you.

There might be people talking to you about traditions or how we have always done things.

This is your official invitation to stop doing things just because that’s how they’ve always been done.

With two weeks left until Thanksgiving (holy shit, what?!) and seven weeks left before 2022, what obligations or exercises are you starting to feel guilty about?

If it helps, pull out a journal or your voice memo app and start letting it out.

After you’re done, take a look and see if there’s any shoulds or obligations on there that you want to cut out this year.

Start there.

And if something came up on the list that feels extra draining and also feels impossible to give up, send me a message about it.

I’d love to brainstorm a different and new way that feels good … like I was able to do for Sarah and her dog.

Wishing you ease during this holiday season, friend.

Love,

—Nic

PS. Let’s make everything swirling in your brain make sense.

Reserve your spot at my open house on Tuesday, November 16th at 4 pm PT.

I’ll bring my chaos slaying skills to help you get more job offers, brainstorm a holiday boundary, or get some clarity on what you should focus on first during the Great Resignation/Reshuffle.

Past and current clients are invited to attend as well.

The more the merrier!

As always, participation is voluntary.

If you want to listen and learn, that's totally welcome.